shutupaubrey:

are you a dog? no ? goodbye

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

bricesander:

Nicole Richie filling out an online dating profile for her friend Erin. 

unamusedsloth:

Glitches in the matrix.

lmfao  

dixiegent:

pantryraids:

why do dads sneeze so loud

To assert dominance over lesser sneezers

work-it-black-jesus:

I don’t wanna be alone forever but I can be tonight.

work-it-black-jesus:

I don’t wanna be alone forever but I can be tonight.

"I don’t give a shit about being approachable…" - Aubrey Plaza

"You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago."
Unknown  (via c-oquetry)
"ok I love them but-"
someone who’s bout to talk major shit on their friend (via laserqucst)

maliciousmelons:

when you are in a hurry and someone wont let the conversation end

image